Summer fun

Summer is almost here. The weather has been warm for the most part with a little rain but pretty nice. Griffin is out of school for the summer and Ryan only has four more school days. Like usual I am excited for vacation but I am also preparing for having all the kids home. It is always a challenge to keep the boys busy enough to keep boredom at bay. When they start to get bored they tend to fight, argue and annoy each other.

Some of our plans for the summer include tenting. Which we tried in our yard and it did not go so well. My boys and I ended up in the house in our own beds. I think tenting in our yard is just too convenient to have our beds right there. Our next camping adventure will have to be at a campground.

We have been having pit fires to roast marshmallows and make smores. We all love to have fires. The rain doesn't even stop us!

Hopefully the weather will be nice enough this summer so we can fish, swim, go for wagon rides, bike rides and walks. Maybe we will do some hiking and kayaking. Which will help me in my quest for weight loss. Speaking of weight loss, after two weeks on Weight Watchers I have lost four and a half pounds! Yay me! Although, I seriously think I have lost it all in my chest. My boobs are the only part of me that is shrinking. Oh well that is better than gaining.

Weight Watchers

I did it. Did I want to? Not really. Do I need to? For sure! Am I happy about it? No!

It all started when I realized that all my clothes (even the ones that were always too big) were very tight. My knees and back started hurting all the time, too. So on Monday I stepped on the scale and almost passed out. The number that came up was so much more than I have ever been in my life. I never thought in a million years I would weigh this much!

That was it...the moment that pushed me to join Weight Watchers. Their program has worked for me before. Hopefully I will stick with it this time and get to a healthy weight.

Already I hate it. Always thinking before I put a piece of food in my mouth. Always planning ahead and making sure it is not too much. Always feeling hungry (or at least thinking I am).

It is not going to be easy. But I need to do it. I need to be here for the long run...for my kids. Although I am an active person (sometimes). Being this heavy is not good for me. I love my kids more than anything (even myself). So, this is for them. If I feel good about myself in the mean time...that is just an added bonus.

We need to get out!

It is Saturday night in the Melen household and what are we doing? Watching Kids Choice Awards! We all laughed and cheered together as our favorites won and booed as others won. It was a great time...the funny thing is...the boys went to bed and Jonny and I stayed up watching it. We are adults laughing and cheering just as much as the kids. Really...I think Jonny and I need an adult night out!

As the words leave my lips (or fingertips), I know I am just all talk. For some reason Jonny and I can't seem to get a night out to ourselves. My niece, Courtney, is more than happy to watch the boys and they go to bed for her. So, that is not really our excuse. What is? I am not sure. I wish I knew, because we both say how much we need and want to go out without the kids but it just never seems to happen. Honestly, I can't remember the last time we were without the boys. It is really sad!

All the "marriage experts" say how important it is to put your spouse first. To make sure you marriage is full filling. Do these people have kids? Do they realize that when we are without our kids we really can't wait to get home and cuddle them? I know it doesn't leave much for our marriage when our kids are grown and out of the house. When it is just the two of us what will we do? Honestly...that time will come so fast that I want to be with my kids as much as possible (some days I will not admit this). Jonny and I will still have a marriage when that time comes...we are just working on it in a different way then the "experts" say we should.

Sick of all the sickness

The last month or more has been pretty rough with sickness in this house. Between the croup, sniffles, sore throats and fevers we have been a sickly crew. The boys seem to be on the up swing other than Zachy's runny nose and rash (probably due to a nut allergy. more on that later).

Sick Zachy face with a little runny nose.

But it has been my turn again. This time I really think it is strep throat but I am really hoping just a virus. I would hate to have to be on antibiotics. They really don't agree with my body. What amazes me is the look of shock when someone finds out I am sick or asks how I am feeling and I say "like crap!" The response I get is usually something like "I would have never guessed you felt so bad. You have been running around, playing outside, cooking and everything".

the kids and the snowman we built while I was running a 102 fever,
felt like I was swallowing razor blades and had shooting pain in my ear.

Really...what am I suppose to do with a working husband and 3 or more kids. I don't have the option to climb back into bed and sleep it off. And it does me no good to not entertain the kids or they get bored and drive me more nuts. To be honest most of these responses are from people with no kids or who can send their kids to daycare and go back home to bed. Most stay at home moms know what it is like. I am not saying working moms have it easier, because that just opens up a whole new can of worms that I am not willing to get into. I am just saying it is different. I don't have the option of calling in sick...my kids don't go anywhere. So, I medicate myself with Motrin and cough drops until I feel sick to my stomach, put a smile on my face and try my best. Sometimes the illness gets the best of me, I get extra cranky and I try to lay down on the couch for a few minutes. But laying on the couch must be an invite for the kids to climb and jump on me. Oh well...the blessings of motherhood.

Walking baby

I know walkers are not safe...blah blah blah. I have had 3 kids and this is the first one I have allowed to use a walker. He just loves it! And if we supervise him, what harm can it do? He is so much happier and my back has been saved. After weeks of walking him around the house holding my hands, I broke down and bought a walker. It is wonderful!!

Cheated

Yesterday was a very hard day. I am sure part of it is my hormones and part is the kids are bored from being on vacation for two weeks. But I really lost it yesterday evening. I had listened to the boys fight, Griffin whine and cry and Zachy scream and cry all day. As I was trying to talk to Jonny's mom on the phone Zachy was screaming (for what appears to be no reason at all), fighting me the whole time that I was trying to feed him dinner, and then screaming and kicking when I was changing him. Griffin was being needy, just whining and complaining that he wants this, needs that and "nobody likes me" (which is becoming his phrase when he is not getting his way) while Jonny was in the living room watching hockey. Finally, I was over the edge! I had to set Zachy down and walk away. I went upstairs to my room and hid. As I lay on my bed in tears, all I wanted was my mom. Now, I haven't been that way in a long time. My mom is elderly and sick. She hasn't been able to be the Grandma to my kids the way she was with my nieces and nephews. I longed to have her be able to take my kids for a few hours, the way she used to with my sisters kids. If she was healthy and younger, I wouldn't be so stressed all the time. I would have her there to help me. When my sisters needed a break or just wanted to go to the store alone they would drop their kids off with my mom. Nothing was ever more important to my mother than her kids and grand kids. Her house may not have been spotless or her laundry done, but the kids were happy, fed, and entertained. I feel cheated that I don't have her in the way my sisters did. She would never say she was too busy to have the kids, or that she couldn't take them. Everyone was always at her house. There was always 5 to 7 kids running around and then someone would call or stop by and there would be more kids. That was just the way it was, and I am very jealous I don't have that luxury. I can't even call her to cry to her. My moms mind is gone, she has dementia. Half the time she thinks I am my sister Ellen. What I wouldn't give to have my mom the way my sisters had her. I guess I haven't mourned the loss of what my mom used to be. It is very hard to lose her mentally and then have to think about losing her physically also.