As I was reading some of my Facebook friends status update today (the ones from people without children), I started thinking back to my life before having kids. Jonny and I were so carefree, relaxed, easy going and slept well. It was not rare for us to throw some clothes in a bag on Friday evening and head out of town for the weekend or jump on the motorcycle at 7:00pm and head to Lake George (a 45 minute to 1 hour ride) to play mini golf or something as simple as going out to eat or go tanning. Life was easy and required no planning to leave the house for a simple errand or took days to plan for a babysitter so that I could go tanning (which I haven't done in over 3 years). I was feeling a little bit of jealousy, missing those carefree days.
But then my little guy Zachy in his feety pj's climbs into my arms for some snuggle time. This is my life now. We snuggle, wipe noses, change diapers, wipe tears, shed tears, clean up messes, get sloppy kisses, warm hugs, no sleep, endless planning, few restaurants, and much more thankless, none thrilling sometimes frustrating tasks. As I sit in the chair snuggling Zachy I realize yet again that I am truly blessed and more than happy with where I am in my life and would not have it any other way. Then as the guilt starts creeping in for longing for my past life...I push it away. I have no reason to feel guilty about remembering or missing that part of my life. It was great and wonderful! I can love all the stages of my life and I can less than thrilled with other stages of it. Remembering the past is helpful in shaping my future.