Remembering

As I was reading some of my Facebook friends status update today (the ones from people without children), I started thinking back to my life before having kids. Jonny and I were so carefree, relaxed, easy going and slept well. It was not rare for us to throw some clothes in a bag on Friday evening and head out of town for the weekend or jump on the motorcycle at 7:00pm and head to Lake George (a 45 minute to 1 hour ride) to play mini golf or something as simple as going out to eat or go tanning. Life was easy and required no planning to leave the house for a simple errand or took days to plan for a babysitter so that I could go tanning (which I haven't done in over 3 years). I was feeling a little bit of jealousy, missing those carefree days.

Doesn't he look like an angel here

But then my little guy Zachy in his feety pj's climbs into my arms for some snuggle time. This is my life now. We snuggle, wipe noses, change diapers, wipe tears, shed tears, clean up messes, get sloppy kisses, warm hugs, no sleep, endless planning, few restaurants, and much more thankless, none thrilling sometimes frustrating tasks. As I sit in the chair snuggling Zachy I realize yet again that I am truly blessed and more than happy with where I am in my life and would not have it any other way. Then as the guilt starts creeping in for longing for my past life...I push it away. I have no reason to feel guilty about remembering or missing that part of my life. It was great and wonderful! I can love all the stages of my life and I can less than thrilled with other stages of it. Remembering the past is helpful in shaping my future.

Stop being so picky and be thankful!

After spending some time praying, reading and writing my last post. I realize I need to stop being so picky about the help we receive and be thankful. Sometimes it takes me writing things out and speaking to God to see things clearly.

Yes, I am truly thankful for the help that my MIL give us. She may not take Zachy or babysit him the way I would like, but she does do so much other things. Today for example she has taken the big boys to her house for the day. She did not have to, but I am very happy she did. Zachy was up ever 2 to 3 hours last night leaving me very tired and prone to grumpiness. She comes to our house almost every Saturday morning bringing donuts and bacon. While here she picks up the kitchen and will fold laundry if there is some to be folded (usually there is plenty). Financially she has helped us where she could. For Jon's birthday instead of buying something he really does not need she will pay for a year of life insurance. My MIL does help us in her own ways and for that I am very thankful.
As for my sister...her relationship with her dogs is not for me to judge. I can chose to protect my children and sanity which may mean staying away from her house and still have a relationship with her over the phone or at our house. She will not leave her dogs home alone for very long (if at all) so she just is not an option to watch Zachy here at my house. Instead of being sad I will try to be positive and thankful for the help she did give me with my other two boys.
With the help of Gods grace I will remain positive and not let the sadness and negative thoughts grab hold.

We are truly blessed...

What a wonderful weekend we had. I truly feel blessed. It all started Saturday morning...
I decided to join Grace Congregational Church a while back, and Saturday morning was the new member class. Over the week I had talked to Jonny about joining with me. He was really unsure of his beliefs and had a lot of questions regarding faith, church and God in general. I asked him to do the new member class just because it was important to me and would love to have him there with me. On top of making me very happy I told him it might answer some of the questions he has. Jonny did come with me on Saturday morning and had a really good time. He hit off with Rev Jon (who couldn't, he is one of the most wonderful guys I know. Not to mention very funny) and enjoyed talking with the other new members. We learned a lot about Grace Church and the UCC. Grace has a wonderful history, it really blew my mind just how rich Grace's history is. The class confirmed my decision to join the Church and gave Jonny the little push to making his decision to join.
After the class we had a wonderful time with my sister Gia, who lives in Maine. She made the trip down to be here for the Baptism of me and my boys. I can't tell you how much that meant to me.
Sunday was the induction of new members to the Church and our Baptism. It was such a nice service. The boys behaved beautifully and the Baptism was so moving. I was the first one Baptized. While Rev. Tracy was placing the water on my head, Zachy was watching every move she made. When she was done he started wiping my head to get the water. It was just so cute. Griffin and Ryan were next and the answered Tracy's questions about wanting to be Baptized and marked as children of Christ very well. I am so proud of them. Rev. Tracy took Zachy out of my arms and held him while she Baptized him. I was a little nervous that he would cry and scream, but it was just as calm and relaxed. As she placed the water on his head he put his little hand up to feel the water. It was just a perfect ceremony. After all that Jonny and I, along with his sister Jodi and about 11 others were announced as members of the Church. Yes, Jonny joined the Churh with me and the boys. Rev. Tracy and Rev Jon and the whole congregation is just so welcoming. After the service we had a receiving line in fellowship hall and every member came up and welcomed us, introduced themselves and congratulated us. It was such a special morning. I will never forget it.

After having such a nice morning, the afternoon and evening could have went down the drain in comparison. But it was just as nice. We had family over for Ted's pizza (which is hands down the best pizza). Then off to an early bed time.

You would think that I should be grumpy from the lack of sleep. Zachy has been waking up all night long for weeks. It is getting old, but even without the sleep I need this weekend was just amazing. Thank you everyone that was part of it.

***Please Pray for Stellan***

A wonderful Sunday!

Today was a wonderful Sunday! Although it was really cold outside, we were warmed by friends and family all around us. This morning started out with our new "normal" Sunday at church. I am really liking attending church services at Grace. I find myself looking forward to going. Since this was only our second time going, I am hoping I continue to enjoy it. Grace is so welcoming and family friendly, which is what I am really looking for. The boys seem to be liking it also. This morning Ryan started giving me a hard time about going. I think it has more to do with the fact that Jonny isn't going with us. But I explained to him that going to church is something that is very important to me right now and we are going. He seemed to accept that and by the time we got to church he was fine. They are getting comfortable with being there. As a matter of fact, Ryan took Griffin to the bathroom without having an adult with him. The boys also did the children's service. Which is going up to the front of the sanctuary and have something read to them, pray or answer some questions as a group. I am so proud of them! Maybe they will go to the church school next Sunday. My sister-in-law Jodi joined us this morning. I do wish she had come with us last week. Although it still was a very nice sermon, last weeks was just more touching. It was nice to share my new found belief with someone. I hope she will join us again.

This afternoon the older boys and I went the the field house for some ice skating. We were meeting up with some new friends of ours. Griffin really didn't like it last time we were there, but today he was awesome! He grabbed a couple of milk crates and off he went. He didn't care that we were not with him. He was just so happy to be on the ice. Ryan of course did really well. He is just a natural at any sport. But at first he did not want to go on the ice. I did not have any skates so I could not go out with them, and our friends had not shown up yet. And we all know Ryan has to have someone (other than Griffin) with him to be able to do something the first time. But with Griffin out there all by himself, I told Ryan to just go skate with him. He finally did and then our friends showed up, so all was good. I had a great time talking to Nora, and the kids had a great time with her children, Ashley and Dillon. I hope we can all do it again sometime.

We finished off a wonderful day with ordering a bunch of Girl Scout Cookies and having Ted's pizza for dinner.

"good boy"

It has been a while since my last entry. I am just terrible about staying current on anything. That includes laundry, dishes and general housekeeping. Jonny (my husband) is usually pretty good at going these things when I slack off, but why does he need a pat on the back, the good boy, great job and thank you every time he does something. I don't get anything from him when I do it, and I get so mad to think it is because these things are viewed as "my job". I have never gotten at thank you from him for keeping the kids feed, clothed, cleaned and safe every day. For playing endless rounds of Candyland and trucks so that they don't bother him. I am sorry, I might just be tired, because I am the one that gets up with all three kids, while he snores on.

On a lighter note...I am so Thankful for everything I have. My kids are wonderful and healthy, my family was all together for Thanksgiving, and I have the best time being able to volunteer at the kids school. For that I have to thank my husband. He really has done everything to make it possible for me to not have to work. So, I guess I can suck it up and pat him on the back when he does the dished "for me" as he likes to put it.