Monday, April 27, 2009

PMS and Depression don't mix

One thing I miss about being pregnant and nursing all the time is the fact I did not get a period. I am at the point in nursing Zachy that I have started getting my period pretty regularly. I hate it!! I am sure everyone around me hates it too. And today is the day that PMS has its grip on me. I have snapped at everyone and everything pretty much all afternoon. Then the part of my depression that I can't seem to control is the fact that I jump to the biggest "solution"to the problems. In my ill PMSing mind, when my husband pisses me off, I just don't want to be married anymore. Now that really isn't the case, I truly love my husband and would never want a divorce but that part of the depression (when PMSing) just does that to my mind. So, when Zachy was being difficult at bed time, I jump to "I don't want to do this anymore" which of course I do want to be his mom and nurse him and cuddle him, but that ill mind of mine just does that. Then the phone rings for the same number it always rings from (anyone who knows me knows what number I am talking about) I get ready to scream at my husband to block that number from our phone (sometimes I don't have to be ill or PMS to think that). Anyway I am sick of feeling this way because after all the ill minded thoughts, and the calmness comes back I have the guilt of even thinking that way. I am sure a lot of people with depression have these same feelings and for the most part my depression is under control. Just when that damn monthly "friend" comes around everything falls apart.
But now for some good points to this crappy day...
It was really hot (which doesn't help) but the kids had fun playing in the sand table and playing street hockey. I bought the baby (Zachy) a new hat. Believe or not I could not find a hat in any of the hand me down bags/boxes. So we went to TJ Maxx and he got a hat and I got a new shirt. Shopping always seems to help PMS. Here are a couple of pictures from the day. Zachy kind of looks funny in his hat...oh well

Now off to watch my favorite show...Big Bang Theory.

1 comment:

  1. Hey hoping you are having some better days this week! Zachy is too cute in that hat!