Thursday, January 8, 2009
I am a little annoyed today. As I was enjoying my first cup of coffee, I was blissfully checking my email before the baby woke up. What do I find...a bit of advice...from someone that should be giving advice to their own family. Now I am not saying I am above getting advice. I know I am not perfect, but this bit of advice was clearly miss guided. This well meaning woman assumes I am overwhelmed with my children because they are so close in age and I must be "trying to do to much". What I need to do is let the house go and enjoy my children. ."let the children live and play...that's why you had them, right?" Excuse me!!!......who are you to be questioning why I had my children. My children are spaced a gracious 2 and a half years apart and then 3 years apart. That is not Too Close. More so, I am the mom that has left 2 jobs to be with my children. The first to do daycare so I could be home and "enjoy" my child. Just recently I stopped doing daycare to be more involved with my children. I am the mother that hand folds paper towels because my angel baby is allergic to store bought wipes. I am the mother that nursed my three children and co sleeps in the family bed. My house is almost always a disaster because I choose to play with my children rather then waste the precious time I have with them cleaning or doing laundry. Anyone who doubts this can ask my mother-in-law who spends Saturday morning cleaning and folding laundry. I am always in sweat pants so I can be down on the floor with them, playing games, building blocks, playing trucks or babies. We bake together, read books, sing and laugh. But yes, in all the time we have together I get annoyed as any normal person would. Even though I am home with them they are far from perfect. They fight and yell and make bad choices....hello, they are kids. If I didn't get annoyed or overwhelmed at times I wouldn't be human or I would be living in complete denial. As much as I am a stay at home mom with 3 boys I am also an intelligent, fairly well educated person with a brain that likes to be used for something more than mothering. To be a mentally healthy (as close as I can be) woman I need to have some time for me. This was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I finally understand that I need "me time" to be a happy and wonderful mother. Although my "me time" moments are short and sparse I still need them. I like to stamp, make cards and plan events. I like to bake and cook without the help of little hands. I also like to knit and blog. I don't usually offer to do things unless I truly want to, so if I get annoyed or overwhelmed, so be it. That is life, but by no means does this person get to tell me to slow down, start delegating and not taking on too much. I am saying all this, not because I need to justify myself, but because I am utterly pissed off. This person apparently does not know me or my children. My husband and I choose to live in poverty, income wise, to that I don't have to work because being a mom that is active in our children's lives is the most important thing to us.