"Not Me!"

I have been waiting for Mck mama to post the "Not me! Monday". I am sure I have a lot to claim I didn't do:
It certainly wasn't me that missed my sons school bus on Friday. I never run late. LOL
I did not forget my dog was outside on the really cold days we have been having, making her shiver for a while after finally letting her in. That would just be awful and make me feel terrible!
It wasn't me that got short tempered with the kids, off and on all week. Not me! I would never, I am always cool and level headed.
I did not stay up until mid night watching DVR shows. I wouldn't waste time doing that, Not Me! I would do something much more productive.
It was not me that drank one Mojito, feel like I am drunk and talk like an idiot to my neighbor. I would never be that much of a light weight or be so embarrassing in front of others.
I didn't let the laundry pile up, making my husband do it. Not me, I always do the laundry! (this pretty much happens all the time. My mother-in-law or husband do most of our laundry.)