Fearsome Fours

Anyone have a four year old out there? I can't tell you how hard a four year old can be. I rather have 10 two year olds. Griffin is in the prime of 4. He talks back constantly, has a really snotty attitude, and cries/whines at a drop of a hat. He is endlessly pushing my buttons and testing his limits. I am at the end of my hope with him. Yesterday, he pushed me over the edge. I didn't spank him or yell and time outs stopped working, so I soaped him. Yes I put soap in his mouth. And before anyone gets mad and thinks that it is cruel and unusually punishment. I have to tell you it was all natural, organic soap. So yes it taste bad, but no it did not hurt him. He hasn't talked back or spoke rudely to me today. It must have worked some. Now I don't think this is something I would do on a regular basis, but in a pinch when nothing else works then I think it is fine to use. Yes, I do use some positive discipline and I really try to make natural consequences teach the lesson, but when it comes to talking back, being down right rude, and plain disrespecting people there has to be a punishment. Kids are entitled to speak their opinions and feelings but no one has a right to be rude to another person. That is something I try to practice in my own life and want my kids to realize and practice in theirs.
Tell me, how can a kid this cute be so annoying?I still love you my little man!

PMS and Depression don't mix

One thing I miss about being pregnant and nursing all the time is the fact I did not get a period. I am at the point in nursing Zachy that I have started getting my period pretty regularly. I hate it!! I am sure everyone around me hates it too. And today is the day that PMS has its grip on me. I have snapped at everyone and everything pretty much all afternoon. Then the part of my depression that I can't seem to control is the fact that I jump to the biggest "solution"to the problems. In my ill PMSing mind, when my husband pisses me off, I just don't want to be married anymore. Now that really isn't the case, I truly love my husband and would never want a divorce but that part of the depression (when PMSing) just does that to my mind. So, when Zachy was being difficult at bed time, I jump to "I don't want to do this anymore" which of course I do want to be his mom and nurse him and cuddle him, but that ill mind of mine just does that. Then the phone rings for the same number it always rings from (anyone who knows me knows what number I am talking about) I get ready to scream at my husband to block that number from our phone (sometimes I don't have to be ill or PMS to think that). Anyway I am sick of feeling this way because after all the ill minded thoughts, and the calmness comes back I have the guilt of even thinking that way. I am sure a lot of people with depression have these same feelings and for the most part my depression is under control. Just when that damn monthly "friend" comes around everything falls apart.
But now for some good points to this crappy day...
It was really hot (which doesn't help) but the kids had fun playing in the sand table and playing street hockey. I bought the baby (Zachy) a new hat. Believe or not I could not find a hat in any of the hand me down bags/boxes. So we went to TJ Maxx and he got a hat and I got a new shirt. Shopping always seems to help PMS. Here are a couple of pictures from the day. Zachy kind of looks funny in his hat...oh well

Now off to watch my favorite show...Big Bang Theory.

Product Endorsement

This is my first product endorsement. And no I am not getting paid by the company...I don't get enough traffic on my blog for anyone to pay to be on it. The last few days would have been awful if we did not have this:


The Bissell Proheat 2x is one of the most wonderful carpet cleaners I have ever used. You see, Griffin came down with a stomach bug and after having a big cup of chocolate milk he throw up all over our cream colored carpet. Our Bissell (and my wonderful husband) cleaned the carpet and you would never know it was there. The stain and smell are gone.
This is our 2nd Bissell carpet cleaner. The first one worked great too, but died because of too much use. This is the newest model and it is even better than our old one. Since we had it out and it was such a warm and sunny weekend, Jonny cleaned our living room carpet also. It looks like new.
The Bissell is a must have for a family with small kids or animals. We have 3 boys and 1 dog, but some days we can have as many as 4 dogs (my family brings their dogs to visit). I can't image what we would do without it. We bought our first Bissell because Ryan (our oldest) was a very pukey baby. He would vomit a whole feeding for know reason about 3 to 4 times a week. Trying to get smelly formula stains and breast milk stains out of the carpet was impossible until the Bissell. I would recommend any parents-to-be to have the Bissell Proheat on their baby registry. I don't think it costs more that $200. Which is worth it, considering the cost of new carpet or professional cleaning.

New Baby 101

I have been meaning to write a post like this ever since I found out my sister-in-law was pregnant. That was a long time ago considering Jacob is 6 weeks old now. I will never claim to be an expert but from having 3 of my own children, running a daycare for 6 years, and being a nanny/babysitter since I was 12, I think I have some experience. Not to mention I am the queen of research...if there was an article written on an issue I have or will read it. If something comes up that I haven't dealt with, I will surely know the ins and outs before the day is done. Anyway on with the lesson...
There is nothing more special, amazing and just plain awesome than being a mom. There is nothing more tiring, emotional, and just plain hard as being a mom.
1. The new baby scent. I just love to hold my baby and smell them. The new baby scent is like no other. It can make a gloomy day nice, a sleepless night better, and a sad moment happier. You will learn your babies smell and they know yours. It is a connection between mommy and baby that can't be replaced. That smell will change to a grimy, dirty, hard playing kid smell in no time. Which is something else to relish in...a healthy playing child will get dirty.
2. Babies make noise. Babies cry, grunt, whimper, gurgle, coo, toot and groan. Sometimes a noise means they need something, but most noises are just noises. We as humans are not quiet creatures, newborns are the same. As a mom, enjoy this noises because soon enough they turn in to words, and many words that you don't want to hear.
3. Babies spit up. I have not meet a baby that didn't spit up at one time or another. Most babies down right vomit. There are the babies with reflux (the poor things), but your average baby will spit up, vomit, and empty their stomachs for no reason. Just when you finally get a good feeding into the little thing, a burp could bring it all back up and in your lap. The only thing you can do is clean up and start the feeding all over. Chances are the next one will stay down.
4. Babies don't sleep. I know the saying "the only thing newborns do is eat, sleep and poop". I can say I think they sleep a lot less than the other two. Just kidding...Yes newborns sleep and they sleep a lot, but at 2 to 3 hour intervals. What adult, do you know, that can function on getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep at a time. It takes me 2 hours to fall asleep sometimes. There is also the baby that will be up for 5 hours straight in the middle of the night. And if you have a toddler at home there is no way you can sleep when the baby sleeps. So, learn to go without sleep. It is not fun, and days go by in a haze but that is part of being a mom. It is amazing what a mom can learn to do.
5. Babies get sick. No matter what you do as a parent your baby will eventually get sick. Breastfeed babies get sick, parents that carry bottles of Purell have children that get sick (both these are me) and babies in a bubble get sick . Yes, it is scary and heartbreaking, but it will happen. As they get older they will get sick more often. The only plus side is they are building their immune systems.
6. You know your baby. To a new mom this might be hard to believe, but you know your baby better than anyone else. Listen to you gut, if you think something is wrong, then something is wrong. It is hard to put aside what everyone else is saying but you really have to listen to your mommy sense. It is there, even if you can't hear it yet.
7. Do what works for you. Read everything, listen to veteran parents, and listen to doctors, but then do what works for you. Professionals are not always right and they don't live with you. They don't see what you see and do everyday. You need to do what works. If co-sleeping works than do it. The doctor may tell you not to, it is dangerous, the baby needs to sleep in their crib. Well if that doesn't work, you have to do what will. Breastfeeding may be what is best, but if it doesn't work, and stresses mom, than it is not best for you or the baby. Cloth diapers/disposable diapers...do what works for you. Don't feel badly if you can't seem to go the cloth diaper route. Again if you are stressed it is not good for you or the baby.
8. It all goes by too quick. Enjoy the sleepless nights, hazy days, vomit soaked clothes because in a blink of an eye they will be going to kindergarten, graduating high school and off to college. The hard, tiresome, emotional days are all part of being a mom. After all is said and done the best thing is your baby. It is all worth it, and looking back, it really wasn't that hard.
From this:

To this:

To these:

All in a blink of an eye. Sniff Sniff :-(

Another round of Croup.

We just got back from the Dr with Zachy. He has Croup again. I think this is the 3rd time (he is only 12months old). He is on oral pred. again. This poor little guy just can't seem to catch a break. He was usual happy self this morning in between coughing fits but the Dr took one look at him and knew he was sick, it is all in his eyes. Those sick baby eyes just break my heart. He smiles and tries to giggle which turns into coughing. As you might guess we did not sleep much last night. I sat in the rocker in his room holding him upright for a while so he could breath. That damn "floppy airway" (tracheomalacia)...
A night or two after Zachy was born he was breathing really funny. I called the nurse who thought it was just a bit of fluid he was trying to work up, but noted it in his chart. The next day the Dr listened and told me not to worry, he just has a floppy airway or tracheomalacia. Just meaning that his airway has not developed yet and most babies have no problem with it and out grow it within a year. At each apt since then the Dr makes sure to listen to it and it never gave us a problem. Other than a lot of noise when he would sleep or nurse (remember the squeak when he nursed) when he was little. The last time he had a cold the Dr said she could hear the squeak of air pushing through his airway that was still "floppy". It would collapse a little especially when laying down. Well today she told me that his airway is still a little immature and that when he gets a cold or the croup his airway is inflamed, giving it less room for air when it collapses. Again nothing to worry about just that is why he can't sleep laying down when he is sick. But he should be growing out of this problem soon. His lungs are nice and strong so when his airway collapses he can push it open with his breathing. It really doesn't effect us other than when he is sick and it really has not been a problem. I never think about it, I just always assumed he couldn't breath because of the cold (just like any other kid). Anyway to make a long story short...He is finally napping...in his crib and I got to update my blog and now I would like to take a nap. Hopefully Jonny will not be mad that I haven't folded any clothes.

Sleeping in Mommy's arms. How sweet is he!

Monday strikes again

Oh it is Monday and what is worse than Monday...A Monday after a week off. It is hard on the kids to go back to school, but hard just getting up and going after not having to for a week. It is hard on Jonny and I to listen to Ryan saying he is sick, just because he doesn't want to go to school. Hard on me because I have been able to sleep in (8 am) most of the week, and now back to early mornings. Hard on Becca because she has been home with Mommy all week and now she is here with me (this is also hard on me). We are also just exhausted from having a week of "fun". But here we are back to a "normal" week, "normal" Monday and we all need a nap at 10:30 am. To top it all off...we all have a cold again. When is the sickness going to break?! I have had it with me having a cold and taking care of the kids with a cold. It is a never ending viscous cycle of colds. Ugh.
On a happier note...I got my garden started yesterday. Yes, I know I don't garden...But I thought it would be fun and healthier to have a garden this year. The boys will love growing our own food, and I think it will give us some learning opportunities. Yesterday, Ryan, Griffin and I spent the afternoon digging out the spot for the garden and started some seeds inside. The boys grew bored of digging (go figure). I think they just like to dig randomly so digging in a neat fashion was boring. So, I ended up doing all the digging myself and yup I am sore today. My legs and my back (which has been bothering me anyway). What a great day playing in the dirt. I felt really good getting down and dirty.

Sick kids and odds and ends

First I just wanted to say I am so over this whole Easter thing. But some people just can't let go. Oh well, I will try not to get sucked back in.
We had such a nice day yesterday. The weather was beautiful, went for a little car ride to a sugar house, had dinner with Nancy, Courtney and Mazzy. It was the first cookout of the season.
Today we spent the day outside and I even cleaned out one of the sheds. All the boys had a really good time. Ryan even rode his dirt bike for the first time this year. Griffin is still sick but I think we are on the up swing. He hasn't had a fever for a few days but his throat is still sore. He cries out in the middle of the night because it is so raw. Here is a picture from yesterday:

Such a sick baby boy.

Griffin is feeling much better today. The fresh air has done him wonders. I am now coughing to the point my throat is raw. But mainly because I have a tickle in my throat that won't go away. Now I must go feed the kids. Then I have knitting tonight. I love having the girls over for knitting. We have a little wine, snacks and talk about everything. It really does a girl good to have knit and bitch.

***Stellan will be going to Boston. His SVT is breaking though a lot more and is not being controlled well with the meds. Please keep him in your prayers***

Zachy udate

Sorry I have been meaning to write this post, but with Easter and all the drama around that I haven't had time to think about this:

Zachy had the ultrasound of his belly and everything is normal. The enlarged spleen that the Dr. thought she felt is probably because he is thin. He is in the 10th percentile for weight and the 45th for height. I understand you should not be able to feel the spleen that is why she thought it could have been enlarged, but in very thin people sometimes it can be felt. That is the reason for the ultrasound, and good news, everything is normal! He has a virus that has been causing the fever and sleepless nights and the rash. But everything is gone and he is feeling better. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Oh the Drama!

I can't even begin to tell you the drama I deal way too often. Let me try to explain this one as nicely as I can. Easter plans were changed do to the fact that Griffin was sick. Jodi did not want Griffin around baby Jacob for fear he would get sick. Understandable? Yes. A little paranoid? Maybe. But that isn't the drama. I had no problem staying home with Griffin. But after talking to Jonny and the boys we decided it wasn't fair that Ryan and Jonny get to go to Easter at Grammies and Griffin had to stay home. So, we all would stay home. As we tell Jonny's mom (Lynda) she gets upset and tells us that Jodi changed her mind and wouldn't mind us going down even with Griffin being sick. Not that I didn't believe her but I told her I didn't want to bring Griffin and have Jodi be worried and uncomfortable the whole day. Jonny and I then come up with a great idea that we would do Easter dinner and the egg hunt on Monday. The boys were thrilled because the still get to go to Grammies and Jodi won't have to worry about Jacob getting sick. Everyone, including Lynda seemed content with the idea. So off we went to celebrate Easter at my sisters house with my large, rather crazy family. Now, we had a blast (other than my sisters puppy endlessly jumping on Zachy and scratching his face), dinner was great the boys played outside with their cousins and we had wonderful conversation. Not once did we think about bad feeling surrounding Easter at Lynda's. When we get home it was another story...we walk in and find that Lynda had brought all the boys Easter presents including the eggs for the hunt on the kitchen table. The boys got upset...they were not happy to have their stuff here. They wanted to go to Grammie's in the morning like we had planned. To me and Jonny it was kind of a slap in the face. Jonny was upset and angry. Does it end there? Oh no! Ryan calls Grammie because he wants her to come pick up the eggs and hide them at her house so they could find them in the morning. Jonny then speaks to her and she tells him we were overreacting. WE were overreacting! I don't think so. We just did what was asked of us, keeping Griffin away from Jacob. Somehow along the way we became the bad guys. Not that there was anyone involved that should have been "the bad guys". But there we were...the ones that were overreacting and messing up Easter. For some reason, Jonny's family likes the drama. Instead of just being happy we could do it another day, the drama had to be brought in. So today when we were supposed to be at Lynda's eating and watching the boys find eggs, we are home, angry because we have to explain to the boys that Grammie is not in the mood to have us. I just want to scream "stop the attitude and drama and lets just live".

This story may seem minor, but this is always what happens. Plans change and send the Melen'stale spin. And Jonny says my family is crazy. Well we are, we just don't let the little things effect us because we have to deal with the big things. into a

Happy Easter!

Peaceful Baby

Easter is huge. This is an amazing day in all of our lives, but I never knew that until recently. Or should I say I knew what it was about but never "felt" the importance of Easter until recently. This morning was wonderful. Except Griffin threw up in the hallway. Thankfully it was just juice (white grape) and cleaned up easily. Church was great, my sister Gia and brother-in-law Jeff were there. It was so nice to share the morning with them. Also my sister-in-law, Jodi, brought baby Jacob to church for the first time and my mother-in-law Lynda joined us. The sermon by Rev. John was just great as usually. When he speaks it touches me deep inside. His words mean so much to me, because he speaks just what I have been feeling. The choir in out church is beautiful and the hymns we sung today gave me chills. The only thing that would have made it better was if my husband was with us. Unfortunately, he was home with sick Griffy.
We are now just hanging out waiting to go to my sisters house. Zachy is down for a nap and then off to Ellen's house to enjoy company of my large family and many yummy dishes. Griffin hasn't been sick since first thing this morning. Maybe it was just that his big cup of juice on an empty stomach did not agree with him. He has been bouncing off the walls. I can't wait until he can play with his cousins later. We missed going to Jonny's moms because Griffin was sick and we didn't want to chance Baby Jacob getting sick. So, we are having nice relaxing time at home, but the boys are so bored (I can't wait until we go to Ellen's).
I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. Oh and did I mention it is my Birthday!

***Remember to keep Praying for Stellan***

Zachy Update

Yesterday we had Zachy's 1 year old well child visit. Well it was suppose to be a well child visit, but he has been running a fever since Sunday. The doctor decided not to give him the vaccinations but to do the physical and check his ears and what not. He weighs 19 lbs 15 oz which is the 10th percentile, and is 29inches long which is the 45th percentile. That is just like his brothers.
While the Dr was doing the physical she found that he has a swollen spleen. As she was feeling the swollen organ she was not positive it was his spleen or kidney. Dr. A decided to order an ultrasound to find out what is swollen and why. She really thinks it is just the virus that is causing the high fever is also causing a swollen spleen, but she wants to be safe. We ran a urine culture to rule out an uti and kidney infection (I just heard from them that was negative). I asked the Dr what else could cause his spleen to swell if it was not a virus. She really did not want to tell me because if it is not a virus then that leaves the big scary things (which I will not even write about). I told her I am one of "those" parents that will just go home and research it and scare myself so she might as well tell me. She did get a little laugh out of that and we talked about what else it could be. She did reassure me that she really thinks it is just a virus, but rather be safe than sorry. I agree. I have to say I am worried, after all he is my baby and there is a chance (very small) that it could be more than the virus. But I do believe that it will be nothing more than a virus and he is just fine. As a precaution please say a little prayer for Zachy (it couldn't hurt). We go Friday morning at 8 am for the ultrasound. He can't have anything to eat or drink for 4 hours before the appointment. He will not like this. He still nurses and has been nursing a lot because he hasn't been feeling well. Now I am off to clean the kitchen.

***Pray for Stellan***

Too Cute Zachy!!!

Some things I thought were just too Cute! I had to share:

Zachy's 1st Birthday!!

I can't believe my Angel Baby is now ONE! He is more a little monster than an angel baby now. He is endlessly into everything. It is funny to see how birth order shows up in the personality of the children. At the age of one, Ryan would only be told once or twice not to touch or do something and he wouldn't do it again. Griffin would get into to things but was easily distracted. But Zachy, he is into everything he isn't suppose to be and laugh as he is hearing you say no or try to distract him. Oh well, he keeps me on my toes.
Every 1st birthday of my boys I have cried. I really expected myself to be a sobbing mess with Zachy, but I was just a little weepy. He is such a character, which makes it hard to be sad even if he is growing up. We only have a couple of pictures of Zachy's birthday. Being the 3rd born, things like this happen. Ryan's 1st birthday (along with everything else) has a ton of pictures. Griffin had less pictures and Zachy has very little. But here is what we have. Oh, I forget to mention, the morning of his birthday, he fell into the banister in our upstairs hallway. He has a cut and a couple of good bruises. There are more pictures of that than of his birthday party.

I can't believe all my little guys are growing up so fast. Ryan having his first school concert, Griffin having play dates at a friends house all day, and Zachy turning 1. I am so sad that I don't have a little baby anymore. I would love to have another baby, but my husband won't allow it (not to mention he has had a vasectomy). Adoption would be great, if our house wasn't so small and my husband agreed. Although, the cost of adoption might just be a little more than we could afford (more like a lot more). Maybe some day we could adopt a little girl.

Ryan's Concert

Last night was the Spring Concert at Northeast Elementary. Ryan's kindergarten class, a couple other kindergarten classes and first graders gave a wonderful performance. These was Ryan's first time getting up on stage in front of a group of people to sing. I was a little worried, he can be very shy and sensitive. Last night he was neither. I am not sure if he sang or just moved his lips but he said he was singing. The songs they sang where:

The Garden Song
Baby Beluga
Somebody has to (Poem by Shel Silverstein
Take me out to the ball game

Of course my other two boys sat quietly and listened to the concert. Being the perfect children they are I wouldn't expect anything less (Ha Ha Ha).

There are a couple of pictures and videos. Sorry they are dark and the video is jumping around, Jonny was singing and swaying with Griffin on his lap.

The little boy standing in front of Ryan is his best friend. This little boy has Autism and Ryan helps him all the time and tells everyone he is his best friend.

***Please Pray for Stellan. He is getting better but can still use our prayers!!***

We are truly blessed...

What a wonderful weekend we had. I truly feel blessed. It all started Saturday morning...
I decided to join Grace Congregational Church a while back, and Saturday morning was the new member class. Over the week I had talked to Jonny about joining with me. He was really unsure of his beliefs and had a lot of questions regarding faith, church and God in general. I asked him to do the new member class just because it was important to me and would love to have him there with me. On top of making me very happy I told him it might answer some of the questions he has. Jonny did come with me on Saturday morning and had a really good time. He hit off with Rev Jon (who couldn't, he is one of the most wonderful guys I know. Not to mention very funny) and enjoyed talking with the other new members. We learned a lot about Grace Church and the UCC. Grace has a wonderful history, it really blew my mind just how rich Grace's history is. The class confirmed my decision to join the Church and gave Jonny the little push to making his decision to join.
After the class we had a wonderful time with my sister Gia, who lives in Maine. She made the trip down to be here for the Baptism of me and my boys. I can't tell you how much that meant to me.
Sunday was the induction of new members to the Church and our Baptism. It was such a nice service. The boys behaved beautifully and the Baptism was so moving. I was the first one Baptized. While Rev. Tracy was placing the water on my head, Zachy was watching every move she made. When she was done he started wiping my head to get the water. It was just so cute. Griffin and Ryan were next and the answered Tracy's questions about wanting to be Baptized and marked as children of Christ very well. I am so proud of them. Rev. Tracy took Zachy out of my arms and held him while she Baptized him. I was a little nervous that he would cry and scream, but it was just as calm and relaxed. As she placed the water on his head he put his little hand up to feel the water. It was just a perfect ceremony. After all that Jonny and I, along with his sister Jodi and about 11 others were announced as members of the Church. Yes, Jonny joined the Churh with me and the boys. Rev. Tracy and Rev Jon and the whole congregation is just so welcoming. After the service we had a receiving line in fellowship hall and every member came up and welcomed us, introduced themselves and congratulated us. It was such a special morning. I will never forget it.

After having such a nice morning, the afternoon and evening could have went down the drain in comparison. But it was just as nice. We had family over for Ted's pizza (which is hands down the best pizza). Then off to an early bed time.

You would think that I should be grumpy from the lack of sleep. Zachy has been waking up all night long for weeks. It is getting old, but even without the sleep I need this weekend was just amazing. Thank you everyone that was part of it.

***Please Pray for Stellan***